Spreading the Plague: A handy dandy guide to all things viral.

Well the results are in:
Every minute of every day another 8 hours of content is downloaded onto YouTube--yes you read that right--8 hours.

So the odds of your clever creative making so much as a ripple against that tsunami of content are about as good as Galen Weston Jr. winning an Oscar for lead actor.

But despite those odds, the possibilities are incredibly tempting. The opportunity to make a brand famous over the web and create an army of newly converted consumers at shockingly low cost is hard to pass up.

And let’s face it, you do have to get with the program. There have been years of willful ignorance about what the online world has to offer marketers. But there’s no way to maintain that denial because finally (drum roll here) the tipping point has arrived. According to Deloitte & Touche (and they should know) North Americans now officially spend more time on the internet than watching TV (15 hours online vs. 14.5 hours in front of the tube). And for those watching TV those habits too have changed. TV is becoming background noise—less that 10% of us are just watching TV while the TV is on—we’re doing all those other things we do(like chatting online) as Hiro struggles valiantly to Save The Cheerleader.

So you want, in fact, you need to create viral campaigns. What’s next? First, you should know what everyone else is doing. Creatively, it really comes down to 3 types of video—UG (User Generated content), SPUG (Semi Professional User Generated content) and PUG (Professional User Generated content). To get an idea what that would look like I’ve provided this YouTube-like example:

1. UG—Cat Coughs Up Hairball
2.SPUG—Cat Coughs Up Hairball with music track.
3.PUG—nicely lit Cat Coughs Up Hairball with music track.

And how do consumers grade this content? To them it doesn’t matter. All 3 of these levels of quality work, so quality isn’t really an issue. It can look awful or look like Ridley Scott was behind the camera. It’s completely beside the point. There are only two things that matter and if you take only one thought out of this article it is to memorize these 2 subjects when evaluating any online marketing content: relevance and ideas.
If your info is truly relevant people will seek you out. If you are an expert on the Central American long-eared Agouti and you make an absolutely appallingly amateurish video featuring the most comprehensive insights and dramatic footage on said Agouti those interested will seek you out no matter where you are. If you are imparting important relevant knowledge, they will find you. You are completely relevant to that group of people and they will make sure their community of Agouti lovers know it. You will become an Agouti god.

If, however, you are tasked with selling something that may or may not be the most relevant item in human existence, like a chocolate bar, you should start looking for an amazing idea. If you want to know what one looks like, look up Gorilla Drumming on YouTube. You will see the best most totally viral ad I’ve seen in years. What it lacks in relevance for Dairy Milk chocolate bar (no drippy chocolate shots, no happy masticating consumers) it more than makes up for with an incredible idea. As someone once said, great ideas are like a Neutron Bomb, they don’t have to be dead on target to get the job done. What makes it so viral? It’s short and it’s really weirdly funny. Viral just loves funny.

Which brings us to the question on big ideas: why exactly do we need them? This may seem like a rather unnecessary question, but given the amount of dreck that ends up online, it apparently begs an answer. The answer is simple: because your target is in charge of the virus. They decide whether to look at it and whether to pass it along. There’s a reason why it’s called a Target Audience and not Target Zombie Slaves Forced To Memorize Your Message. They decide whether it’s going to move forward of die. And they don’t want to send their friends sales pitches. However (as in the Gorilla example) a sales message framed in a wonderfully funny idea will move forward. With astonishing speed.

Another thing about ideas is novelty. You may be considering an idea in front of you but there’s this voice inside you saying “I know I like it, but it’s kind of dumb.” Now, as no other time before in the history of mankind, is the time to embrace those big, dumb novel ideas. I just got a viral piece prepared and sent to me by a close relative showing his face on the body of a frantically, spastically dancing Ebeneezer Scrooge. This relative is a university professor, medical scientist, Order of Canada member and recipient of two honorary doctorates. In other words, a fairly bright bulb. But he sent this along because it’s just wonderfully stupid. And he’s proud of it.

So you’ve created a great perhaps mind-alteringly stupid viral piece that will mesmerize and captive your target, so what’s next? Well, you send it to YouTube and it gets discovered and becomes instantly famous. That’s how Dove did it, right? Burger King? Axe? Build it and they will come. It worked for Kevin Costner so why not you.

Don’t be so naïve. You know better that that. Even the greatest viral campaign needs all the help it can get. It needs a great PR campaign. A great sales promotion campaign. Guerilla marketing. And very often, yes, a paid advertising campaign to get it to the level of success we dream of. Will it bring fame? Probably not. Very few attain that level. But if you aim low and try to bunt one out of the park, you will guarantee failure.

So that’s it. Take these tips, exploit those big insane ideas and build yourself a great viral campaign. And here’s to your plague being of Bubonic proportions.